Banning Gay Marriage

I read a post at Gay Religion regarding California churches and their response to a 4-3 decision in the state to allow legal same sex unions…perhaps also known as marriage.

…As a side note, I’ve never understood the distinction between Gay and Lesbian…obviously male and female, so there’s no discrimination…not sure how one is gender specific…seems ironic.

So as the churches decide whether to allow these couples to wed or not to wed in their buildings based on biblical reasons…God’s law versus man’s law…marriage as an instrument of God to make us more holy, continues to erode.

Not because of these types of laws but because of the people who are supposed to be doing it God’s way don’t. Divorce, and physical and emotional adultery are just as prevalent in “Christian marriages”, so the reality is we need to remove the plank from our own eye.

The biggest threat to God’s plan for marriage is us…the level of mediocrity in Christian marriages is what is tearing down what God put together…half the people walking through our churches are in nothing more than a civil union…they don’t want a Christ-centered marriage…they want a tax deduction…but we blame homosexuals for wanting the same thing under the pretext of God.

We need to be faithful to our first mission field…our marriages…you think God blesses something else we might do when we are neglecting our marriage…maybe…maybe not.

As my former pastor would say, “you’re not in love with her anymore…so…learn how to love her again.”

People often think the great commission is to go and make disciples…I contend it was to love one another…and that starts with our spouses…a different kind of love but one that allows you to love others in security and with great joy.

You want to change marriage in this world…start with the image in the mirror…how about that.

Flirting With The Forbidden Fruit

I read a pretty good article on flirting on a blog at Psychology Today…sometimes the worldly, secular stuff resonates just as much truth because it’s not wrapped in the Kumbaya stuff.

Here are some of my favorite parts about flirting …

• Flirting creates a relaxing, calm, and enjoyable atmosphere
• It is a subtle and enjoyable flattery that is closer to praise than to a lie
• An activity that should be harmless and not lead to anything
• Caring for others-by listening to and showing interest in them-while not taking them too seriously
• Honesty together with an element of innocence, as well as a mild level of deception
• It is a kind of game in which participants move closer to the borderline-and sometimes even step across it-and then move back to a comfortable distance from it
• “We flirted with and seeked each other constantly, until one day we realized we were not just playing anymore”
• Typical flirting offers participants an enjoyable, frivolous form of sexual communication with no serious intent; however, often flirting is not restricted to such harmless communication and leads to a sexual relationship
• Flirting also involves the mystery and uncertainty associated with sex
• It’s teasing, playing, innuendos-it’s about making someone feel special, it’s about being attentive, it’s about walking on the edge of danger & getting caught
• When people enjoy flirting for its own sake, it may be commendable
• Thus, flirting may help to reduce loneliness and boost one’s ego and self-confidence
• One survey has found that most working-women believe that flirting is good for their health and confidence. Indeed, three out of four of them have flirted with a colleague, while 28 percent have had a sexual relationship with a fellow-worker. Some findings indicate that flirting at the workplace makes people more comfortable around each other
• The distinction between online sex and flirting is not clear-cut, and the two activities often overlap
• People are attractive when they are relaxed, feeling good, and enjoying themselves
• At first it was just a nice friendly chat

I don’t see anything regarding flirting from a place of faith…hmmm.

Anyway, is flirting healthy? Does it help our self esteem to be flirted with and to flirt, and does it strengthen marriages…or is it irrelevant to our marriages…no effect.

Many of these characteristics sound like the people doing church…pastors and attenders. But more importantly, are you flirting with God or are you committed to him?

Boobs…

Now this is not a boxer or briefs kind of post even though I’m a butt man, and a great basement or balcony always adds to the appreciation of the house.

I know I think I married about the perfect booty.

No this is serious…Anne Jackson recently had a post on boobs…more here.…and it got me thinking about all the men (and women) who struggle with lust. In this culture of less is more and many women trying to fit a misses body into a junior cut…is there a responsibility to others?

1 Corinthians 8:9…Be careful, however, that the exercise of your freedom does not become a stumbling block to the weak.

I’m curious…don’t raise a cup to a brother’s lips or boobs to his eyes…

Do women…and men in certain situations, need to be more aware of others and their struggles or should men specifically, just be more disciplined in looking away…I mean you can’t control what walks in front of you but we can control at what we take a second look…second looks are usually of the lustful variety…thirds are definitive.

So who’s the heavy here…the “wear something different” or the “suck it up and don’t look then”?

Life’s Toughest Question

Dave Ferguson has an upcoming series on life’s toughest question. And if you could ask God one question knowing he would audibly answer…what would it be.

For me, I don’t know…I’ve already asked them, and at times I’ve screamed them. Why’d my mom have to die at 46…why’d my oldest daughter come into this world with legs bound to a wheelchair?

Maybe someone you love was victimized; you want to know why God didn’t just make the world the way He wanted it and call it done; or you want to know what the lyrics to Sister Christian really mean…anything, but just one.

So…what one question would you ask God? Could you handle the truth?

Climate Initiative

Have you heard of Johnathon Merritt? He was successful in getting the Southern Baptists to sign a document called the Southern Baptist Environment & Climate Initiative.

Yes it actually took an initiative for Baptists to recognize there are serious issues with the earth…much like it took the Emancipation Proclamation to help end slavery, because if it’s not documented, it doesn’t count.

And this issue is actually dividing older Christians and younger Christians…the climate not slavery.

I heard a well-known opponent of the Initiative say this is the Global Warming Agenda (yes it has one…everyone does) and it supports things like Gay Marriage because homosexuals can’t procreate and thus fewer humans will be on earth, and then things like abortion for the obvious reasons.

The days may have past when initiative was something you had, not something you signed or launched.

Christians Say the Dumbest Things

By now you’ve heard that Oklahoma legislator Sally Kerns recently said, “The homosexual agenda is destroying this nation; it’s just a fact. I honestly think it’s the biggest threat our nation has, even more so than terrorism or Islam.”

Kern was speaking to the alleged homosexual agenda to who are aggressively funding pro-homosexual candidates against conservative Republicans. News-flash – we all have agendas.

If there is a candidate who supports everything that we forty-something, balding, middle-class white guys support, then point us to the nearest election booth. Voting in one’s best interest is the American way!

But Sterns isn’t the first or likely the last to say something stupid in the name of Christianity. Here are some of our favorites:

Pat Robertson: Just like what Nazi Germany did to the Jews, so liberal America is now doing to the evangelical Christians…More terrible than anything suffered by any minority in history.”

Jerry Falwell: “He is purple — the gay-pride color, and his antenna is shaped like a triangle — the gay pride symbol.” warning that “Tinky Winky,” a character on “Teletubbies,” may be gay.

Ann Coulter: God says, “Earth is yours. Take it. Rape it. It’s yours.”

We came up with our own stupid quote: “Baby boomer white women with a radical, right-wing agenda who are voted into local legislative positions are the greatest threat to America.” (don’t write-in calling us liberal pansies… remember, we said stupid quote)

People on the other side say a lot of stupid things also, but what bothers us is when we spread hatred and prey on the ignorance of others in the name of Christianity.

Over on Ryan’s blog Jimmy commented that “Arrogance is “the biggest threat our nation has, even more so than terrorism or Islam.”

That’s not so stupid. Wish we would have said that…

The Church Of Oprah

Christian Newswire had an article on Oprah’s comment on February 28th…

“I really do believe I was born to be a vehicle for this information to come to all of you. If you want to be a part of it, if you want to find out who you really are, join the largest interactive classroom in the world. It’s free, because I want to begin to transform the world one reader at a time.”

The curriculum is Eckhart Tolle’s A New Earth…

• “The light of consciousness is all that is necessary. You are that light.”
• “Sin is a word that has been greatly misunderstood and misinterpreted. To sin means to miss the mark, so to sin means to miss the point of human existence.”
• “The man on the cross is an archetypal image. He is every man and every woman.”

So it’s all about self…under the precept of saving the world through some inner generosity, it is about finding it within yourself to love without boundaries because love is never wrong. And part of that is truth and part of that…not so much. But she does want to change the world.

I contrasted this with a post at swerve on Moral Margin…

• In the name of being culturally relevant, some expose themselves to unnecessary temptation.
• In the name of relaxing, some are entertained by sin.
• In the name of ministering to people, some spend unsupervised time with the opposite sex.

This says there is something within us that we’re not sure why it resides there but it calls us to believe in something more than ourselves…trusting in loving and living within boundaries. To believe that just because we feel it, that doesn’t make it right, and it doesn’t make it the light that we should follow.

And to know Christ is more than a prototype or abstract thought process.

A Big Back Door

• 80 percent of pastors say they have insufficient time with spouse and that ministry has a negative effect on their family
• 40 percent report a serious conflict with a parishioner once a month
• 33 percent say that being in ministry is an outright hazard to their family
• 75 percent report they’ve had a significant stress-related crisis at least once in their ministry
• 58 percent of pastors indicate that their spouse needs to work either part time or full time to supplement the family income
• 56 percent of pastors’ wives say they have no close friends
• 45 percent of pastors’ wives say the greatest danger to them and family is physical, emotional, mental and spiritual burnout
• 21 percent of pastors’ wives want more privacy
• Pastors who work fewer than 50 hours a week are 35 percent more likely to be terminated
• 40 percent of pastors considered leaving the pastorate in the past three months

I read the above at Sermonators, which is a group dedicated to coaching pastors in preaching and general burnout, and they also host a radio show regarding the topic.

Kind of alarming…not that its happening but that a pastor’s job is no different than anyone else’s. You’d think given by whom pastors are employed, it might raise the standard of joy or increase the margin in their life…kind of a practice what you preach mentality in the organization, but obviously not. It appears organizational constipation resides within these doors as well…the grass is not always greener.

So your vision statement can be God-centered, as opposed to AFM (anything for money) which is chanted in companies around the globe, and yet the hyper-drive for success and the treadmill are still in play…seems people are people regardless of the vision. And the result is the only back door bigger than the one in our churches is the one in our churches.

Thought for the day…pray for our pastors.

Reaching The Unattached

The Barna Update has a new study which again looks at church participation. They broke people down into these categories….

• Unattached…23%
• Intermittents…15%
• Homebodies…3%
• Blenders…3%
• Conventionals…56%

On the Unattached, he lists some additional characteristics about them…

Compared to regular churchgoers, the Unattached are:

• more likely to feel stressed out
• less likely to be concerned about the moral condition of the nation
• much less likely to believe that they are making a positive difference in the world
• less optimistic about the future
• far less likely to believe that the Bible is totally accurate in its principles
• substantially more likely to believe that Satan and the Holy Spirit are symbolic figures, but are not real
• more likely to believe that Jesus Christ sinned while He was on earth
• much more likely to believe that the holy literature of the major faiths all teach the same principles even though they use different stories
• less likely to believe that a person can be under demonic influence
• more likely to describe their sociopolitical views as “mostly liberal” than “mostly conservative”

Ever feel like we’re being sold a commodity…is love supposed to be a commodity. We know the Christian church has made their love conditional over the years but this is basically market research…

“if we fished x% of people currently attending a local church, we could increase attendance y% and correspondingly, giving z%”.

Is this eternal planning or fiscal planning…kind of feels like a business plan. I bet they know how long on average I’ll attend the church, to what I’m likely to give above and beyond, and what is most likely to get me emotional…that’s probably how teaching gets assimilated as well…who needs the Holy Spirit when you have Barna and Pastors.com.

We’ve got all this intel yet we weren’t quite sure on the whole weapons of mass destruction thing…wow!

Google Is God

I saw this morning at Fast Company and it made me think this is the way people see church, and they’re always just a block away from another one because they’ve never been a part of it. And they have the impression that church is where they’ll find God.

“Some say Google is God. Others say Google is Satan. But if they think Google is too powerful, remember that with search engines unlike other companies, all it takes is a single click to go to another search engine. ” – Sergey Brin